CRIPPLER'S LAIR

Only God Can Judge Me

Saturday, May 12, 2007

But For How Long?

Damn! I'm down with an injury again. This time, i twisted my knee real bad. We were having a rugby training on defending, crashing and tackling. Every thing went smooth initially until Asrul tackled this guy and both of them landed on my knee whilst i was getting my way back to the defence line. I am always unlucky with every thing i do and i do not know why. They landed on me and my knee bended backwards in an akward and unnatural position. It could have folded into two if not for me getting it out of their fall. Nevertheless, i still twisted my knee. I think i will be out of training for at least a month. I can not even walk properly in the present moment. How? Haha. Damn. The injury hurts like hell. I think i will go for a medical check up on Monday. I planned to clear my last bike practical this month after my pay day but because of this injury, i think i will have to postpone it. Shit. The worst part of this mishap is not about the bike practical but about not being able to train for the upcoming Rugby Championship that will commence this July. Damn it. Even if i can recuperate in time, i will be in no shape to compete. Firstly, i will be unfit and i am not even conditioned properly yet. I hope this injury is nothing serious. This week has been a slacking week for me. Basically, after i have finished doing my work in the office, i will be glued to my screen surfing the net. I will spend the time reading on interesting things. I realised something interesting. There are so many things in this world that i do not know even though i read a lot. Interesting huh? Haha. I frequent Wikipedia. That site is damn interesting. Other than Wikipedia, i will constantly visit Friendster. Haha. Do not ask me why. Haha. Anyway, ORD is 3 months and 24 days away and it feels like forever. I will have to find work fast after ORD and i have 10 months or so to work before university semester starts, that is if i get a place in a university. Talking about university, i have yet to receive any letters of acceptance or rejection from any universities. What is taking them so long? I got rejected by NTU and NUS last year. Damn. I hope i can get a place soon. Worst comes to worst, i will have to study overseas if my dad is willing to fork out a huge some of money for me. I hope so. Hmm, my new colleague, Imran, told me about his trip to Amsterdam and it sounded interesting. I really want to visit Europe some day but i could not possibly visit all European countries. My aim is to visit Paris, Madrid and Amsterdam. I will do this a month before university semester starts in August 2008. Well, like i said earlier, humans can only plan but it is Him who decides. Yes. I watched Braveheart just now and i was really amazed by William Wallace's courage. Does all Singaporean have courage? Nah, i do not think so. Only a few have have courage. Most of us will leave this country should any pandemic or pandemonium hit us. Just look at the youth now. They are very materialistic, too pampered and weak. I admit i am weak in some aspects too but i do not like to be a coward. Wallace said that people always have this mentality, 'live today and fight another day'. However, he counterd that by saying that yes, we might live today, but what about tomorrow. The problem that we might face will never leave us unless we annihilate it. This is so true. If you hit your enemy with 50% of your strength and retreat after that whilst having in your mind that you need to recuperate to fight for another day, then your enemy will have the opportunity to do the same thing. The lesson behind this is not to be a coward. But what do i see? I still witness a lot of stupid things done by Singaporeans. Do you have to suck up to your boss? Do you have to squat on the sitting toilet bowl? Do you still have to smoke at a bus stop? Do you still have to fight in queues? Do you need to oppress the people by depriving them their freedom of speech? Most importantly, do you have to be a racist in this multi-cultural country during modern epoch? I think our education system is a failure and we are victims of our own success. We see injustice but we do nothing about it. We see failure but we do nothing to rectify it. All we Singaporeans know best it to complain and make a big ruckus. What the fuck? F1 is coming to Singapore but are we ready to accept tourists here? The project on making posters of thousands of Singaporeans smiling just before the World Bank meeting was bullshit. This is just another way how the honchos of our country cover up our stupidity and shortcomings. Do we actually smile upon meeting strangers? Honestly, do we? Hell no. Think about it. We are so advanced in our technology and economy but we are still backwards in our manners, etiquettes and paradigm. How are we going to match Paris, New York, Barcelona and London with our standard? So who do you blame for these failures? Think about it...

"Fight today and you will die.
Retreat today and you will live
But for how long?
In the end all will still be unwell".

- Ahmad Fathi bin Mansor